the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
