I love black thongs
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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