I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
did i just pee glitter
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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