The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
