Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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