I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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