You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
