shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
