dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
