it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
