We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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