So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
