haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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