Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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