take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
