Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I intend to get homeless drunk
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
