STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I need to calm my uterus...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
