Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
