haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
