went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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