wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
