i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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