It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
