If that was your dad, he is hot
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
