girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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