good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
