She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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