hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
