Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
