That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
