I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
