took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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