He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Oh god it's open bar.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
