so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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