Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Randomize
