I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize