she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
