About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize