I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize