dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize