Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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