summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
