...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I have post one night stand depression
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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