you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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