They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
