69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
