I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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