Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
