hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
