if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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