i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my shit smells like andre
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
