giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize