i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
