consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
