Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
