come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
