with your own penis?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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